Who Is Dr. Lilly Jay? 5 Things to Know About Ethan Slater’s Ex-Wife

Before Ethan Slater

began dating Ariana Grande, he spent more than four years married to his high school sweetheart, Dr. Lilly Jay.

Slater and Jay tied the knot in 2018 and share a son, born in fall 2022. Less than a year later, they split up, and Slater’s relationship with Grande became public knowledge.

Jay opened up about their public split in an essay for The Cut, published on Thursday, December 19, titled How Does My Divorce Make You Feel? The title is a reference to her work as a clinical psychologist.

“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced,” she wrote, “But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child, and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”

She went on to detail how her work and personal lives mixed during some of her most difficult moments. Jay wrote that while her job made her aware of the statistics surrounding the vulnerability of marriage immediately after having children, “I didn’t understand the growing distance between us.”

Keep scrolling for five things to know about Lilly Jay.

Lilly Jay Is A Clinical Psychologist

Jay is a clinical psychologist working in New York and New Jersey. According to her Perinatal Mental Health Provider Directory bio, she has “advanced training in supporting parents navigating infertility, medically-complex pregnancies and perinatal/infant loss.”

She earned her doctorate from Long Island University in 2020. Jay also holds a degree in psychology from Columbia University, and one in law, jurisprudence and social thought from Amherst College, according to her LinkedIn page.

Her and Ethan Slater Were High School Sweethearts

Jay and Slater began dating in 2012 after meeting at Georgetown Day School in Washington, DC. They moved from Maryland to New York in 2014.

She’s Only Made One Comment About Ariana Grande

Jay first made headlines in 2023, shortly after her split from Slater, when she publicly blasted Grande.

“[Ariana’s] the story, really. Not a girl’s girl,” she told Page Six. “My family is just collateral damage.” Sources have subsequently claimed that there was no overlap in the relationships.

She added that her focus remained with her son, who was 11 months old at the time. Neither Jay nor Slater have revealed the baby’s name.

She Is Coparenting With Slater

Jay stressed that she and Slater remain on the same page as parents.

“While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not,” Jay wrote in her essay. “Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.”

Jay Struggled to Cope With ‘Wicked’ Press

Jay also admitted that she struggled to cope with the promotion of Wicked, which released in theaters in November.

“As for me, days with my son are sunny,” she wrote. “Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.”

Slater and Grande met shortly before filming for Wicked began in 2022 and Us Weekly confirmed their relationship in July 2023.

“Ariana and Ethan have only recently begun seeing each other but they have a lot of fun together and are enjoying each other’s company,” a source told Us at the time.

Slater filed for divorce on July 26.